6 Important Steps For Coping With Pregnancy Loss

By:    Published: November 21, 2011

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A miscarriage, or other form of pregnancy loss, is a devastating and difficult process. It is important to surround yourself with your family and loved ones, and take steps to take care of yourself in a healthy manner emotionally, mentally and physically. Even though it may feel like you will never be the same again, healing will come with time.

Step #1 - It Is Okay To Grieve

It is important that a proper grieving takes place, as grieving is a natural process that sets the mind on the path to acceptance and recovery. You may experience a roller coaster of differing emotions during this period, and it will be important to learn how to cope with them. The steps of grieving are:

  • Denial: this includes the initial shock or disbelief. The mind is trying to grasp what happened, and the situation may seem unreal.
  • Anger: this may be directed towards the self or others for letting the situation happen. Some women may ask questions such as, “Why me?” or “I don’t deserve this.”
  • Guilt: many women may be stricken with guilt and feel that it is their fault that the baby was lost. However, it is important to note that it is not anyone’s fault, and that miscarriage happens due to a combination of factors.
  • Depression: symptoms of depression may take place, including as loss of interest in anything, changes in diet or sleep, or the feeling of being drowned in eternal sadness. Be sure to seek help if you feel that you cannot cope with your situation.
  • Acceptance: the final stage of grief. The path to acceptance can help you recover and help ease the pain.

Sometimes, one or more of the emotions may be more acute and painful to experience than others. For some people, certain steps of grieving may be completely skipped, while for others, many stages may come back to revisit.

It is normal to experience symptoms of emotional stress during recovery time, but if symptoms worsen or become self-detrimental, be sure to seek outside help. At this crucial time, be sure to properly take care of yourself

Step #2 - Get Support

Women tend to internalize feelings more than men, but do not be afraid, embarrassed or ashamed of what happened. Feel free to express your emotions and talk about your experience with other friends and loved ones. For all you know, you may surprisingly find another close friend who also went through this recovery process and can share her experiences. There are also many support groups that can help. Just by simply talking about the issue can greatly lift a burden off your shoulders.

Step #3 - Communicate With Your Significant Other

Often times, the way your partner or husband grieves may be different. After all, they did not experience any physical changes like you did. Be patient and supportive, and acknowledge and accept the difference in grieving. The grieving process may be different for each person, but time is needed by all to overcome the ordeal. Share your feelings, concerns and any other emotions you might be holding in with your partner. Communication is important to prevent becoming distant from one another.

Step #4 - Take Care Of And Protect Yourself

It is up to you to decide when you are ready to move on, and whether or not you want to try to get pregnant again. Other people may not understand the traumas of a miscarriage, so take time off from work or school, if needed. If you feel you’re not ready to deal with baby or pregnancy related issues and events, such as a friend’s baby shower or even holiday gatherings, do not force yourself to go. Take it one day at a time, at your own pac

Step #5 - Make A Memorial

For some women, it may be healing to memorialize the loss, such as lighting a candle, planting a tree, or planning a service. Such memorials may help initiate the grieving process and pave the road to healing.

Step #6 - Moving On

If you feel ready to face the issue or try for a baby once more, it would be advisable to seek a fertility doctor who can answer all the questions and run appropriate tests to determine the cause for the pregnancy loss. Then, he or she can help you and your partner and take the necessary preventable steps to avoid further complications. If the pregnancy loss is a result of other medical conditions, for example, it may be easily prevented for the future. Fortunately, many cases of miscarriage are only a one-time deal, and many women who’ve experienced pregnancy loss were still able to carry healthy pregnancies and give birth to healthy babies.

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